Make Summer 2k19 the best one ever

We’ve finally reached the light at the end of the tunnel. Since August, students have been counting off the days until the last day of school, when we can go home and stay home for the next three months. Personally, I’ll be living in my bed, getting ignored by my friends and contemplating the purpose of my existence. But as most people say, you shouldn’t be like me! Here’s a guide for how to make this summer the best one yet.

One good way to spend the summer would be volunteering. You can volunteer for “for profit” organizations, like Exxon mobile or BP, or you can even volunteer for, like, a dog shelter or something. Volunteering is a great way to give back to the community, and has flexible scheduling; since you don’t get paid anything, everyone still likes you even if you basically never show up. You can tailor your volunteer schedule to avoid other responsibilities. For example, if your mom asks you to attend the neighborhood block party full of racists, think about it for a second and reply: “Sorry mom, I have to volunteer!”

And if you really want money, (Although this may seem totally embarrassing) , getting a summer job is so worth it. Not only does this allocate monetary funds, rather than just “goodwill” and “the giving spirit” to your personal bank account, it is also potentially helpful in scoring a “date”. What we’re really looking from a job is that classic summer fling. On the first day of work, make sure to spot the most attractive employee and start flirting with them instantly. Say cool things like “hey there” and “hey can I have your number” and “hey do you have kik?”. If you keep this up, going to work won’t even feel like an ordeal anymore.

In terms of fun activities/ sports, you can do those also. For sports, either you can physically do them or you can’t. Some people just don’t have it. If you aren’t good at the mainstream ones like soccer but you still want to list “sports” as a hobby, try something less known like curling. People have heard of it, maybe, but they don’t really understand it so it’s pretty easy for you to pretend you’re really good at it when you are actually very mediocre. Like, I bet no one you know can name the top 5 nationally ranked curlers.

I would give you more suggestions for how to spend your summer, but my brain hurts too much right now. Just remember, stay safe, use your judgment and follow these tips to have the most awesome and productive summer ever. We only have a decade until the Earth blows up, so might as well make the most of it. Toodles!

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