Sometimes I spend hours working on a homework assignment only to keep erasing my work and second guessing myself. I set aside time to study for a test and even after reviewing the material repeatedly, I feel defeated when I don’t get that perfect grade. The school system can sometimes produce toxicity around taking such high measures to get good grades, which is why I often associate getting a good grade with being successful. However, feeling successful should be about learning the material and putting effort in not just getting an A. I’ve realized over time that I am my biggest critic when it comes to my schoolwork because I don’t want to fail. Each student is their own person so teachers can’t expect them to have the same strengths and weaknesses in all subjects. A lot of times I approach school with a negative mindset because I can’t integrate my ideas and beliefs into my academics.
Although grades can highlight a student’s skill sets, others might struggle with the same material. Sometimes worrying about my grades prevents me from expressing myself freely, and I focus on just getting an assignment done based on instructions rather than learning to apply the material. Each individual has their own strengths and creativities which makes a “mainstream intelligence” difficult to define at school. For instance, I always have new ideas for a drawing or a story but occasionally I struggle with a math problem. This does not make me less “smart” than a classmate that excels in the STEM subjects.
Talents might not always be visible with a given grade. Students might put work into all their assignments but immediately sink into their desk chair when faced with taking a test. Roles could even be reversed with some being better equipped to take tests while putting minimal effort into assignments.
Students with learning disabilities might need additional support to keep up with classmates. The unlevel playing field could be disheartening to anyone, and a sense of stress might form if they are expected to meet the same standards despite having different needs.
Failure is something that everyone experiences at some point, but many students take it to heart. A lot of times I don’t want to ask for help because it might deem my lack of understanding a weakness. Furthermore my fears stem from the possibility of peers putting me down if I ask any questions which can feel isolating with me trying to learn everything on my own. Putting a bad grade on something that I already feel frustrated about really bashes my confidence. I also feel more anxiety than excitement when it comes to learning, which completely overshadows the whole point of school.
On many occasions I pride myself on only studying for what might be on a test and what might be graded rather than reflecting and actually learning the material I am given. A common mindset I feel is that hard work doesn’t matter if I don’t perform perfectly or catch up to my classmates.
Schools place homework, social settings and assessments on students that might already have struggles outside campus. Even though teachers and parents might not mean to overwhelm us, it is bound to happen with the academic burn out. A lot of times I get completely in my head and feel overwhelmed with how much information I have to take in per day at school and I wish I just had a chance to breathe.
Academics are an important part of school, but truly learning a concept is different than acing a test. The journey a student takes to understand a topic and the timeline is irrelevant when a grade stands in the way of feeling accomplished. Everyone views self worth and accomplishment in different ways, but the bottom line is that they shouldn’t need a perfect grade to feel proud of themselves. I know how discouraging it can feel to put effort in and not get a good grade, however I am learning that a grade does not define my worth and my creativity.
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