Facing adversity growing up queer
I have faced adversity throughout my whole life, from the first time I cut my hair into “boy style” to now with my hair still short and identifying as an openly gay person. When people would walk into the girls’ bathroom and tell me to leave, my 8-year-old self would say, “I am a girl, I just wear boy clothes and have short hair.” This is a statement I would declare multiple times every day.
Since the moment I could pick out my first Spiderman shirt as a toddler I have dealt with affliction with others on how I present myself. After my first day of third grade, I was disappointed because my best friend at the time made fun of me for wearing a bowtie. That morning I had been so excited to show everyone my first day of school outfit, but was brought to tears by my friends’ comments, and ran back to my mom for comfort.
My journey in middle school was the complete opposite. I grew into myself. I cut my hair short again, wore the clothes that I loved and I came out to my family and friends. During this time in my life, I was called slurs by my peers and had to report them to the faculty, where the students were issued warnings. Despite the good intentions of the administration, the warnings only added to the fire of homophobia. These students no longer targeted me but instead messaged my queer friends during the summer saying derogatory slurs.
I am also an athlete, and I have experienced homophobia in sports. For instance, rumors went around about how there was a boy on the flag football team, leading other girls to message my teammate asking why a boy was participating in a girls’ sport. And while playing soccer in the recreational league in elementary school, there were numerous times parents across the field yelled, “Get the boy off the field!” to me. This repetition has forced me to learn to block out the homophobia and the little “misunderstandings” that people have hurled in my direction.
According to the Trevor Project, a non-profit suicide prevention organization for LGBT youth, suicide is the second leading cause of death for 10-14 year-olds and LGBTQ young people are more than four times more likely to attempt suicide, compared to other youth. I have learned to block it out and often not talk about the “sensitive subject.” I believe that from this there needs to be more equality for all kids to let them be who they are without having to struggle to complete everyday activities and withstand hate from peers.
A common phrase in society is, “Life is unfair.” For me, this notion of life being unfair is used as an excuse for hateful, homophobic people to remain unchecked. I have learned to just ignore the people who “don’t have the same views as me” and to just be myself. However, people who are hateful towards an 8-year-old child need to understand that their hateful, homophobic comments will negatively affect young people’s mental health for the rest of their lives.
