How to prove to yourself that you are not a failure at seventeen
“Your teenage years are the best of your life,” is a commonly regurgitated cliche that has infiltrated my perception of adolescence, since my earliest cognisant memory. My thirteenth birthday was a pivotal moment in my upbringing. As I entered the elusive world of being a teenage girl, I felt exhilarated but simultaneously frightened.
On that dreary third of March, not only did I gain another candle on my birthday cake but also a prevalent fear that I have been wasting my life away. What if I have not been “properly” experiencing my youth to the fullest extent that I could have been? I had begun to spiral and fall victim to constant recurrences of falling down rabbit holes of comparing myself to my peers and picking apart myself. If I do not do things at the same pace as my classmates, am I falling behind? A guilt that I have been careless with my existence has haunted me since that fateful day.
Throughout my childhood, I had always dreamed of the person I would become as I matured. I set unrealistically high expectations for myself that I would fear disappointing my former self if I did not accomplish. From the way I would present myself to how I would spend my free time, I had everything planned out to a tee. Now at the age of seventeen, I can laugh at how seriously I took myself five years ago.
I was so focused on creating a persona that would equally intimidate and impress my peers that I sacrificed my own happiness. My days would become engulfed with activities and projects I did not even care about, but rather I thought I should care about or even that other people would be more interested in me. Even now I still battle with the fear that I am not spending my life in an adequate enough manner.
Each and every day, I inch closer to adulthood. The fears that I will not amount to my dreams and aspirations still scare me. But now I try to channel the fear into motivation, instead of letting the doubts consume me I employ the thoughts as motivating factors inspiring me to achieve my goals. The only way to prove to yourself that you are not a failure is to abandon the constant comparison of how lives are and should be spent. The meaning of life is to experience, without experience we can not learn. It is up to you to ensure that your life is spent in a way that you will be not only satisfied with, but proud of.
