Knock out the knockoffs
When it comes to high quality designer goods it’s easy to spot a fake from the real thing. Take a good look at the logo, examine the stitching, or try to find the authenticity card and you can tell if it’s a knockoff. Unfortunately, it’s not as easy to spot a fake when it comes to people.
A few of my best friends and I decided the good ol’ “1-10” system for rating people just didn’t quite capture all the important aspects of a person so we expanded our system to include three important traits. In addition to the standard appearance ranking, we added personality, and loyalty.
Of course we all want someone we find attractive and has a good personality that makes us laugh but I’ve come to realized that the third category, loyalty, is probably the most important one when it comes to having a successful, rewarding relationship. Loyalty is the one that can help you spot the fakes in life. This doesn’t just apply to our romantic interests but every relationship in our lives.
As I’ve decided that loyalty is one of the most important characteristics I’m looking for in a person, I’ve realized that it’s also one of the hardest to find. Unlike a designer purse that you can definitely verify is the real deal before you buy it, relationships are a little different. You can know someone for a long time and think they are a true blue friend because they definitely appear to be based on the experiences you have shared. But then, when the storms of life hit, we see who they really are and have to move them into that “fake friend” category.
These are the friends that are around when you’re happy and successful, but they can’t be found when you hit the rough patches and life is kicking you in the butt. They disappear when you really need their friendship the most.
Recently, I went through one of the most difficult challenges in my life. It was one of those times when it was hard to get out of bed and I was struggling to face the world everyday. What made it even harder was finding out that some of the people in my life were actually fair weather friends that I couldn’t rely on when life got complicated.
On the flip side, I also got to discover those friends that were the real deal and ready to support me when I needed it. As a person who likes to isolate herself when things get tough, I really appreciated the friends that would send me a quick Snapchat or a text saying “Hey, I noticed you’re struggling, I’m here.” I was really grateful to the friend who could tell I was in need of a smile so he sent me lots of funny videos that made me laugh and frequently brightened up my day. These are the people we want to have in our lives and hopefully the kind of people we want to be.
I’m not quite out of my rough patch yet, but it’s gotten a little easier since I’ve accepted that my circle of friends has gotten smaller. There might be less people that I trust in the world but the ones I know are loyal during the good and the bad times mean the most to me. The valuable lesson I’ve learned is don’t carry around the extra weight, let the fake friends go, and keep around the loyal people that’ll lift you up when you just can’t lift yourself any longer.
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