Remaining Abstinent
As a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, I’ve always been taught that abstinence is the right way to go. When I learned about abstinence in a religious context, it made logical and emotional sense to me. However, people tend to ask me lots of questions about my choice to abstain, and they always ask me if it’s difficult for me to do. I always tell them the same thing: it’s not. It’s a decision I made at a young age, and it’s part of who I am and how I want to live my life.
Just as there is often a social stigma surrounding teens who have had sex, there is definitely also a stigma surrounding those who choose to abstain. I know that people sometimes judge me for my decision, usually because they seem to think I am judging them for choosing to have sex and think that I have a “holier than thou” attitude. Truthfully, despite my own choice, I don’t judge anyone for the decisions they make. I respect that everyone’s life path is different. While I believe that abstinence is the best choice for me, and I do think many people could avoid a lot of problems if they did the same, I believe we all have the right to make our own decisions in order to shape the lives that we want to live.
Though I initially chose abstinence for religious reasons, it’s not the only factor that has influenced my decision. Although I thrive with change and pressure, I definitely have always been afraid of getting hurt. As a kid, I never liked the monkey bars because I was scared to fall off. I never tried to jump off or lay backwards on the swings because the one time I did try, it resulted in a small tragedy with a lot of sand in my mouth and eyes, which pushed me to be an ever more cautious person. I never rode a bike down a big hill, jumped off a bunk bed, or slid down a railing. I have always been one to err on the side of caution – and I’m no different when it comes to sex.
Beyond this, being cautious is not the only reason that I’ve decided to abstain. Being a pretty sensitive person also plays a big role in my choice. I’ve been hurt before – everyone has. Sometimes being hurt is your own fault and a result of your own mistakes, but sometimes it’s out of your control. Even if I’m not the one to make mistakes, someone else could hurt me. I’m afraid that something will go wrong, and when it does, I don’t want to be within 50 miles of the epicenter of that emotional earthquake. As much as I like to think of myself as a mature almost-adult, I know I am am nowhere near ready for that kind of commitment. I’m about as ready for that commitment and attachment as I am to fly a solo mission to the moon. Or to climb Mt. Everest. 100% not ready.
My choice to remain abstinent is a multifaceted decision that has shaped and evolved over time. It started with my religious beliefs, but it has been continuously reinforced as I come to know myself better. So far, abstinence has worked out well for me; I don’t regret my decision and feel it’s been worth it. I don’t think that I’ve missed out on anything and I’ve had lots of fun in high school despite my decision to be abstinent. If you’ve made that decision too, and it’s something you really want, then stick to it and may the force be with you.
