Solitude provides inner peace for the mind
“She was happy. She lived for herself and enjoyed her own company. They called it loneliness, she knew it was freedom.”
My thumb lingered over the quote on my carefully-crafted pinterest feed, not quite sure if I had read it correctly. Having seen one too many dystopian movies, I am never hesitant to admit the possibility of technology watching our every move. For how else could a quote so perfectly encapsulate the words I could never form, that have sat on the tip of my tongue for years?
My parents, while they could never pin my sister down to one spot, always pushed me to “participate” more. This often confused me because I have always been content with having a quiet life. A few close friends, my solitude, my school work and my family were all I needed. I was never able to put to words that I did not need more than that, nor did I desire anything greater.
The reality is, I love being alone. Whether I am crafting, journaling, reading, watching TV or cleaning my room, these slivers of solitude are peace in a loud and confusing world, and allow me to recharge. As much as I enjoy the company of others, these moments help me to work on living for myself. As a certified people pleaser, this grants me the opportunity to learn how to rely on myself to find fulfillment, rather than others. This means taking those moments alone to break from the noise of the world, to feel at peace with myself before achieving peace with others in my life.
Just as we require sleep to refuel our bodies, I believe we also need solitude to recharge our minds. Carving out a little time each day to be alone has made me feel noticeably more patient and tolerant even on days when I feel as if I am constantly being knocked down. Just as the routines or constants in our life provide stability, a little solitude each day has made me feel more stable and sure of myself.
Despite the apparent ways I have watched prioritizing solitude positively impact my life, I cannot help but feel small waves of guilt wash over me on those days when I spend a Friday night alone, or deliberately choose to go somewhere by myself. I believe this stems from the part of me that believes it is unnatural for being alone to make me happy. I then have to remind myself that happiness and fulfillment cannot be measured on a scale, and I cannot change which activities or people bring value into my life. Being in solitude does not make me lonely in the same way that being in a room full of people does not automatically make me feel content.
What brings one joy and fulfillment does not have to be what is expected or accepted by society. While a fast-paced life appeals to one person, a quiet, slow-paced existence is the dream of another. One life is no more valuable than the other, and we should start chasing the life we desire, no matter if it looks a little different.
