The fear of rejection creates inaction
Fear allows us to survive; it is an emotion characterized by a perceived danger or threat that forces a fight or flight response. When we feel fear, our bodies experience a surge of stress that alerts us to take action and protect ourselves. Whether the fear one feels is real or imagined, the emotion can stem from direct experiences, physiological responses or evolutionary purposes.
While the fear of embarrassment and rejection is felt by all people at some point in their lives, it is not something instinctual with which we are born. A young child will take risks of all kinds, having an abundance of unearned confidence that gives them the freedom to fail, learn and grow. Yet as we become more socially aware and accustomed to the world around us, the ability to allow ourselves to let go and take those risks is lost. As we age and experience life, we hear more no’s than yes’s, and little by little the rejections add up. However, when we start to respond with fear to things that have no impact on our physical stability but have the power to make us embarrassed we lose our courage and therefore the potential to grow.
This developed sense of preservation is not protecting us but instead controlling us. The dread over the idea of being uncomfortable holds you back by creating inaction. This forces you to stay within your comfort zone and leads to a reliance on validation. These unhealthy habits then keep building so you doubt your abilities and do not trust your instincts, which hinders your confidence. We avoid opportunities right in front of us simply because we do not want to be told “no.” By doing so, we never have the chance to hear the word “yes.”
Personally, I do not want to look back on my life with “what ifs” and regrets. I want to know I took every opportunity I was presented with and made the most of it. Of course, this is easier said than done and moments of weakness and self-doubt are unavoidable. So, how do we learn to master the fear and the voices so that we can live our lives to the fullest? The key is not letting those voices tell you that you are not good enough to have any power.
Identifying exactly what we are afraid of and forcing ourselves to do it allows us to take some power back. Push yourself into opportunities that scare you, because that is when you grow and learn the most. In order to reach your full potential you have to be uncomfortable, so take the risk that scares you because you never know the outcome.
