Valentine’s Day hate is performative
Valentine’s Day has come and gone, and despite the fact that it is a day meant to celebrate love, I have noticed with each passing year that it brings up many negative emotions for those who do not have a romantic partner. Indeed, I would venture to say that many people feel a distinct hatred for Valentine’s Day. I have often heard complaints that it is too commercialized or that it leads to feelings of loneliness and inadequacy. However, I think that it is imperative to reframe one’s mindset and remember that love transcends romantic relationships.
Although my circumstances are very different from the fictional columnist Carrie Bradshaw’s, we do have female friendship in common. I am blessed to have friends that I can always count on, and they remind me that I am surrounded by love every day. No matter what I am going through, or how often I feel the need to rant about the same situation, I know that they will be there. In the wise words of Bradshaw, “It’s hard to find people who will love you no matter what. I was lucky enough to find three of them.” My friends bring meaning to my days, and I look forward to every moment spent with them. We often think of love only in the romantic sense, but platonic love should not be ignored.
Our society promotes the idea that if one does not find their soulmate, they are doomed to be alone forever. For as long as I can remember, I have held onto the fear of “dying alone.” This concept simply proves that, societally, we do not value platonic relationships enough. As I look back on the proverbial highlight reel of my life, I am struck by the sound of my friends’ laughter and the profound love I feel for them. Although I am, of course, excited for future romantic relationships, I do not believe that I will ever be truly “alone,” as long as I hold onto these friendships.
As I spent this Valentine’s Day tapping through Instagram stories and, naturally, feeling a pang of jealousy of those in relationships, I tried my best to let these feelings pass. Love is all around, in more ways than one. I am lucky enough to experience it every day, whether I am getting ready with my friends or eating a meal cooked by my grandmother. I will always be appreciative of these moments, regardless of my relationship status.
