My new year’s resolution: to rediscover myself
I have long been a philosophical child. I always had more questions than my parents or teachers had answers, and gathered knowledge to hoard it away in the cracks and crevices of my mind. When I was little, I did things because they were fun, because they brought me joy. In my most vivid memories, I can still taste the blackberries that grew wild by the creek behind my house, feel the rain drenching my hair on another impossibly stormy Northern California day and smell the redwood detritus that made up the forest floor. Yes, I am a victim of romanticizing the past, and I seek to have more realistic goals for my present that aren’t built on embellished memories.
As I wrote essay after essay this past semester, engulfed in the college application process, I found myself attempting to boil down my memories, accomplishments and motivations as a means to an end. At first, it was easy to come up with experiences that fit the bill, words flying off my fingers as I rushed to type. Slowly, after rehashing the same essay 5 different ways, I began to question my own memory, the details of the scene became foggy and I lost the will to write the essay. Taking moments that I cherished and squeezing the life out of them in order to mold them to the prompt felt demoralizing, and after months of doing so, I felt burnt out.
I no longer found time for happiness. It had been too long since I had done something “just for fun” and without reasons for joy, my life was lacking. Waking up, going to school, homework, sports practice, bed and repeating the cycle was not living, it was existing. I needed to do something that couldn’t fit in a box in the “activities section” or spark a perfect “PIQ-worthy” moment.
I had lost the philosophical child within, I no longer loved learning for the sake of it, and didn’t probe further if it wasn’t on the test, until recently. My new year’s resolution for 2026 is to do something that makes me happy every day. It begins with the little things: I got back into reading. I used to be a voracious reader, back when I had the time. In elementary and middle school, I would go to the library and come home with eight or nine books, and then go back the next week and do it all again. Now I don’t think being done with college apps eliminated the business from my life, but I have time for a few chapters every day and that is enough to turn things around.
I have also found myself again in nature. Spending more time outside greatly contributes to my happiness, the fresh breezes blowing away the worries. I especially love the ocean, where I can pretend I am a kid again, becoming once again wholly absorbed by my own thoughts and the beauty of the little things. Again, I smell the air blowing over the ocean, feel the sand between my toes, and taste the salt swirling through the water.
By reexploring the hobbies that used to bring me joy, I have reawakened my inquisitive mind, and nourished the curiosity that makes me eager to learn and rarely afraid to try something new.
