Proximity does not equate to closeness
When my brother, Duncan, left home for UCLA, many cautioned me with horrified expressions and a constant echo of comments like “just wait for how lonely you’ll be” or “I can’t believe you’re an only child now.” Initially, these remarks scared me into thinking that I would suddenly become an isolated, sibling-less individual. But then I remembered, my brother and I barely spent time together outside of family dinners and him driving me to school. Surprisingly, I would say I connect with him more now that he is in college than when we lived together.
Last school year, my brother and I both had rigorous schedules between his competitive swimming and my commitment to sports and the newspaper. While we lived under the same roof, our time together was limited besides the occasional wave at school or text in the family group chat. Despite going to the same school, we were living parallel lives, doing the same thing but rarely overlapping.
Considering this, I took for granted the little things that are easily overlooked when you live with someone. His heavy footsteps walking up the stairs or his habit of constantly watching “South Park” were things that I did not realize I would miss one day. Even though there is more food and clean surfaces around the house, there is something missing without my brother.
At Duncan’s graduation, I prepared to feel a sense of gloom when I realized we would likely never be in school together again. Yet I found it hard to scrummage up this feeling when the UCLA campus is only 42 minutes away and I knew that various breaks and long weekends would result in my brother’s return.
I understand the appeal of having constant company but I question why anyone would want their sibling still home when they could be pursuing their dream education and career. If I was an older sibling, I would not want to feel an obligation to become trapped in my hometown for my family’s sake.
While my brother may not be home, his dedication to swimming has left an impact on me. Watching him swim at meets numerous times during his high school career inspired me to try the sport this year. Over the phone, I often ask my brother for ways I can improve my stroke and endurance like he did. After my races, I make an effort to send him my time or a video of my swim for his reaction. It may seem contradictory, but even though we live apart, we have found more common interests.
As the holidays approach, I look forward to spending time with my brother more than I would have if he were living at home. I find his little quirks and comments far less annoying and am appreciative of the humor he brings to our family. When my family gathers around the table for Christmas dinner, our tradition may be the same, but our relationship will have developed further. It may be cliche to say, but I truly believe that distance makes the heart grow fonder.
