South Asian culture affects youth
As much as I love South Asian culture, the traditional and conservative mindsets it carries have impacted many as they have grown up, myself included. “Be as smart as your brother. Why aren’t you skinnier? Your skin is far too dark,” my mother would always repeat.
South Asian parents have instilled westernized values as a result of colonization and a need to assimilate. A major issue within South Asian culture is the contradictory expectations we are fed to appear physically compliant to westernized beauty standards while remaining culturally intact. Parents will shame you for being dark-skinned, even buying you skin lighteners to meet their expectations.
Ironically, while they want me to accustom myself to western beauty standards, they also want me to be culturally intact. There is no plausible way to hold up to these modern-day standards while also upholding my own culture. I cannot focus on two things at once. Culture is more about embracing yourself and your origins, but the question is: “How can I do that when I have had this preconception all my life that being cultural means that I cannot embrace myself?”
I have always been told to be skinny just like the other westernized girls. I have always been compared to my friends to the point where I do not even introduce them to my parents in fear of being scolded over my body. In reality, there is no satisfaction on either side. Even if you were smaller, there will always be something else to criticize in their eyes.
Growing up, I have inherited this mindset from my parents the same way my parents had internalized it from theirs. It made me extremely self-conscious about my appearance and stunted my own self-esteem because I could never fulfill the unattainable image of what my parents wanted me to be. There has always been this thought embedded in the back of my head of whether I will truly be enough for my parents to accept me for who I am, or if I will always have to put up this charade of someone I am not.
Although I can’t help but feel lasting resentment towards my parents, I want to heal for me and generations before me; what should matter is how you view yourself. There have been several times where I have been comfortable in my own skin, and though it quickly gets shut down, every moment is a step forward for my self-preservation and self-esteem.
Don’t get me wrong, the culture is GORGEOUS. South Asian festivities and weddings will always be one of my favorite things to ever exist, but the expectations and standards that are instilled have always been a challenge, and is something that must be reversed in order for generations down the line to be happier.
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