Put yourself before others
“Are you okay? I’m sorry,” seems to be my motto. Everyday I’m constantly nagging my friends to drink water and get enough sleep. Am I the mom friend? Maybe. I would drop anything to comfort someone. When I ask, “Are you okay?” I’m not saying it to be polite. I mean it, and if you’re not “okay,” I’m worried.
The problem with this kind of mindset is that I don’t think about myself enough. As a result, it leads me into regretful relationships and hours wasted over someone’s well-being. I can’t dedicate my life to civil service when people generally don’t want to reciprocate the care.
While caring about people is a virtue, I can’t let it become my weakness. I go out of my way to help people, but at the end of the day, I should be the priority. I am responsible for myself, and no one else. I have goals that other people will not get in the way of, and I will not apologize for achieving my goals.
I need to stop saying “I’m sorry” all the time. I haven’t done anything wrong. I have opinions, and I’m going to voice them. Others don’t have to agree with me and they can react how they wish.
I do not think it is selfish to put yourself above others. I do not think it is selfish to drop toxic relationships or to tell a friend that you are too busy to help them. Comforting friends is important, but they must be willing to give you the same support, and you both must be able to hold your own.
We are not a force that needs to bend in a million different shapes to fit another person’s expectations.
