Lowe’s vs. Home Depot: hardware stores battle it out

Home Depot and Lowe’s: they have their differences, their similarities, their pros and cons. But above all, they have wood. Wood, sold in every which way possible: cut, uncut, that’s really about it. 

To be completely candid with all our wood fanatics out there, that is not what we’re actually talking about, but it seemed necessary to pay homage to before we dive headfirst into the deep end of the scariest part of adulthood: DIY home decor and improvement. Needless to say, as two non-home owning teenagers, we knew we were the most qualified to examine the differences between Lowe’s and Home Depot. 

 

First up: Lowe’s.

Upon walking into Lowe’s, it was obvious that it was on the cleaner, sleeker side. We began to browse, stumbling upon a pair of clay cowboy boots, which we later found to be a garden accessory. Quickly, we realized that we weren’t actually strong enough to “DIY” carrying them. Maybe we should’ve sprung for strength improvement instead of home improvement.

We needed to get a cart, so we searched for one everywhere to no avail, until after 15 minutes. It was only then that we found, tucked in a tiny crevice near the lumber yard, a glorious group of carts. To clarify, we, a non-biased source, would like to confirm that the elusivity of the carts comes from objectivity, not our incompetence. Play our new game “spot the carts” and see (or rather, don’t) for yourself. 

Next, we decided to ask an associate for a kayak. It was in stock on both Lowes’ and Home Depot’s websites, so we knew it was a fundamental part of the home improvement journey. This was a crucial opportunity for Lowe’s to outshine Home Depot.

Clearly, the employee we asked did not agree. As we hurriedly explained the denotation of “kayak,” he stood staring at us before faux-rowing one, without losing eye contact, for what felt like an hour of uncomfortable silence. He followed this with condescending scoffs of absurdity and told us that Lowe’s doesn’t sell kayaks.

Safe to say, we didn’t ask the associates anything else. We browsed a bit but Lowe’s didn’t have anything worth checking out. The exception was our beloved clay boots. However, this isn’t without some honorable mentions:

  1. The EXTENSIVE bath section 
  2. The lamp section that lit up the store
  3. Halloween decorations!

 

Up next, Home Depot

Prior to entering Home Depot, we made a plan to divide and conquer based on the list of extremely specific items that we had found on the Home Depot website. We shamelessly walked up to different associates and asked for items, ranging from basic home improvement necessities like jerky guns, for making jerky on the go, all the way to pots that look like a 70-year-old Harley’s Angel head with feet. We saw these items offered on the website, so before criticizing us for wasting corporate time, we assumed that they, or similar items, would be easily found in store.

When we asked employees where to find these items, they did not respond simply by imitating the torsoless Harley’s Angel, like a certain Lowe’s employee we know would. Instead, they were surprisingly pleasant and tried to aid us as best they could.

We later found that just about all of the items we were looking for were either out of stock or only available online, which was fairly disappointing. We then continued to roam around the store for more items, and our finds were more significant than those of Lowe’s. Among these items, the best was arguably the bug zapper, but the honorable mentions are:

  1. The giant, decorative, fluffy spider
  2. SO MANY COOLERS
  3. Also grills.

 

Now, the verdict.

Without a doubt, there is only one conclusion to take. The true losers of today, were us. We argued about the usage of the word “wasted,” but we definitely wasted over three hours just on going to the stores alone. The fact is, these places just aren’t user-friendly for ordinary people like us, especially ones that lack a home to improve in the first place. 

The true issue here is that we were purposeless, wandering, confused, and so consumed with our own crises to see the bigger picture: Lowe’s doesn’t even have carts. Anyway, if we had to choose one, neither really have any special qualities. We realized that home is where the heart is, and that was where the real improvement was.

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