Society praises fathers for the bare minimum
As I sat outside Urban Plates for dinner a few weeks ago with my friends, we were enjoying our conversation until suddenly a baby began to scream and cry. Naturally, this is what babies do, so this is not the issue. The issue lies in the matter of their father. The father sat on his phone, simply scrolling and looking very uninterested even though his child clearly needed attention. Finally, the mother appeared and asked her husband what he was doing and took the baby, who immediately stopped crying. I do not know this family in particular, however this instance seemed to be a perfect example of an issue I have noticed in society.
Men always seem to be praised for doing the bare minimum for their child, meanwhile the mother is often expected to go above and beyond and is instantly blamed for any shortcomings. The principles of this issue are very apparent in our society, and I believe it is due to the ignorant thought that because mothers physically birth their children, they are inherently more responsible for them. This makes no sense, as it takes two people to create a child, who needs both of their parents equally involved in their life.
A Tik Tok I saw a while ago seemed like a perfect demonstration of what I am referring to. I am not going to clarify who the video was from, however some may have seen this video, as it attracted a lot of negative attention. In this Tik Tok, a father explains that he decided to “surprise” his wife while she was at the gym by cleaning the house, as they typically take on more “traditional” marital roles. This video irritated me for many reasons.
Firstly, even if he works while his wife takes care of their baby (which I want to make clear I think is fine), he should still do basic things around the house such as taking care of his own baby. I personally hope that when I get married and have kids eventually, it will never come as a “surprise” that my husband helped out around the house. Also, after she has spent nine months pregnant and gave birth to a human being, I find it disappointing that he posted this video and hoped to be praised for doing such basic tasks. As I mentioned previously, this video helped me think about societal standards and what I want my marriage to look like when I am older. I hope that my husband will be helpful around the house and with our child always, not just when he feels like it. I also hope that I will be able to have time for myself to go to the gym without it becoming a “big deal.”
In short, I do not mean to attack the people in this video, as I hope they are happy with their lives, however I think the conversation around roles in a marriage and taking care of children needs to change within my generation. In order to achieve equality between men and women, there needs to be equal expectations for both. We must stop praising fathers for the bare minimum and give mothers a break sometimes.