Why am I still watching the Oscars?

Although Janelle Monáe thought that the Oscars were a good time to “come alive,” the long, boring show did the exact opposite. 

Monáe wanted the audience to get excited for the show that was supposed to honor everyone present, but her strange song that transitioned from “A beautiful day in the neighborhood” to an intense, confusing rock ballad seemed to scare the audience away. Personally, it felt like a weird fever dream that I desperately wanted to wake up from, but was being held down by Monáe until I sang along.

Even without a host, celebrities managed to drag on the awards show as long as possible, determined to make the audience laugh at their unfunny jokes, go on a political spiel they know nothing about, or give their whole life story in their acceptance speech. Many felt the need to introduce someone who was then supposed to introduce the nominees. It took away the honor and excitement that was to be given to actors and producers who worked too hard for an audience who was already bored before they could even receive their award. 

Of the many performances at the Oscars, Idena Menzel singing “Into the unknown” was beautiful and breathtaking, mesmerizing the audience with numerous harmonies, inclusivity, and beautiful decor. By incorporating all the voices who played Elsa all over the world, Disney was able to honor all the actresses who worked just as hard to provide magic to the entire world.

The worst by far was Eminem’s performance of “Lose yourself” that had poor audio and vocals. The poor man could hardly catch his breath, and on top of that I could barely hear him. Yet the academy gave him so much time to wheeze his way through a song, reinforcing just how long and useless this show is.

Worst yet, the producers gave Joaquin Phoenix a solid ten minutes to go on a rambling speech about how evil it is to eat meat, and Renée Zellweger to ramble on about her heroes and those she’s thankful for, but cut the cast of Parasite off after two minutes of them saying their actual meaningful thanks. This did not shed a good light on an academy that is already known to be horrible at inclusivity. 

Overall, the Oscars was a big waste of time, torturing its audience with painfully long acceptance speeches, and introductions. Save the comedy and preaching for yourselves.